This Bowl

[For some of us with ADHD, our perception of time seems to be very different from what others experience. "This Bowl" is an attempt to describe that difference, based on what I discovered when my doctor prescribed another medicine for me. Unfortunately, I had some frightening side effects and was not able to continue taking it.]

This Bowl

this bowl of striped beads

clinging to each other rolled into each other's space:

this is my life

I try to pull some from the gob

place one in front ­­

the boy playing on our yellow porch,

an old woman talking to me about death ­­

but all roll as one, circle of circles, no beginning, no end

I feel you watching, waiting for answers ­­

no need to look at your perplexion,

between anger and some anguished desire to understand

I could tell you this is my life ­­

no eight, nine, ten, no j, k, l,

just a circled mash, no first no last

if you had a string and your own bowl of beads

one would lead

they would march onto the string

in your precious order a patient line

the past behind, the future ahead,

the boy on the yellow porch would slip on early

but the woman has not yet talked to you of dying

but always this is

my time

clinging to an eternal now this bowl of beads

The Elephant: ADHD

After a little time getting this blog started, I've decided I cannot ignore the large elephant that shows up in almost every room I spend time in. The elephant is Attention Deficit /Hyperactivity Disorder. Especially anything involving Executive Function. That includes things like remembering what I was just about to say or do, having some sense of how much time has passed while I am working on something or of how much time I need to get ready on time. And more. Planning, organizing, deciding… all those important ways of thinking and doing that most people take for granted. So, going forward, some of my posts will deal explicitly with topics related to struggling with ADHD.

Poetry Prompt -- Triversen from News

Twice a month I attend a poetry workshop at "River Arts." We take turns bringing in a prompt to share, and last week was my turn. Thought you might like to try the prompt!

 Two-Part Poetry Prompt for River Arts, August 4, 2015

First, prime the pump:

Part 1.  Getting some thoughts, feelings, ideas, vocabulary “perking”

A.   Think  quickly* of an event from the news in the last week or two that has had some impact on you, touched you in some way. Perhaps it involved you, touched someone or some place you know, prompted more thoughts or feelings than other news. It could be local, national, international, extra-terrestrial…

      Jot down 2 - 4 words which catch, or will remind you of, the connection or meaning of the event for you.

      *in other words, don’t ponder everything possible, just take one of the first few items that pop into your head.

B. Thinking of the event, think of a word or phrase for each of these 7 senses. Try to think quickly, you don’t need to get “the best” word(s), just something to list.:

Touch:

Taste:

Hearing:

Smell:

Sight:

Proprioception* (sense of where your body or a part of it is in space, e.g. my arm is above my head, I am leaning forward):

Kinesthetic* (sense of your body or a part moving, e.g., I am pumping my fist up and down, I am slowly stepping backwards):

*These two words may be used differently in different fields, by different people -- just go with these definitions for this exercise.

Once you finish this section, “put it on the back burner” and continue with Part 2.

Part 2: The Triversen

“It’s a fun poetic form developed by William Carlos Williams (one of my favorite poets–able to write both the concise, “The Red Wheelbarrow,” and the epic, Paterson).” -- Robert Lee Brewer at http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/triversen-poetic-form Click on this link for the simple description of what a Triversen is, and for one Brewer wrote.

Lewis Turco originally published The Book of Forms in 1968; the fourth version (revised & expanded) came out in 2011. He is now putting some of his work online. On his site, http://lewisturco.typepad.com/poetics/2014/08/form-of-the-week-2-the-triversen.html , you will find a slightly fuller explanation of the triversen, as well as an example by Turco, and “The Artist,” a triversen by William Carlos Williams. (Note: This poem was published when the “Mr. T” of TV and WWF fame was still a toddler -- it’s about someone else.)

Summary: The “ideal” triversen contains 6 sentences (verses), each broken into 3 natural phrases. Those phrases each contain 1 to 4 stressed syllables.

Once you have the basic idea of the triversen form in your head, go back to Part 1 to look for inspiration for your triversen.

Enjoy!

The Space Between

Between ...

     leaving and arriving...

          being away and being home...

Between take-off and landing...

     good-bye and hello...

           the wave that knocks me down and the next foaming crest of water...

                 in my tradition, between burial and resurrection...



Sometimes we don't think of this space, or avoid noticing it.  I often cover it by reading, working on a crossword or Sudoku, or sleeping through it.

If I find it easy to ignore, either I am still wrapped up in thoughts of where I have been, or what will be next.

This is liminal time, where the ground falls away, . .  or rises to meet us... where life and death touch...

 

About a week ago I plunged into a space between -- and at moments thought I would be endlessly stuck in it. I was going home from "Beyond Walls," an amazing week of learning, writing, reading, praying, listening, talking, pondering and more held at Kenyon College in Gambier, Ohio.

Actually, I slid into the space, gradually saying good-bye. I rode to the airport in a Kenyon van with 3 other BeyondWallsians and our Kenyon driver, endured the amazingly long lines for checking in with one of my BW compatriots, discovered another near my gate... then she boarded her flight and and my time at Beyond Walls 2015 ended. I sat waiting for the overdue plane, between our Kenyon experience and my home (which ended up being a much longer time then planned -- of course).


I decided that if "Beyond Walls" had to end,

                   I could at least enjoy the cloud views from the plane on the way home.

Between.

Accessibility Issues -- part 2

I'm working to get "alt tags" on the photos here, but sometimes it's hard to tell if they are working. At the moment, I'm using http://webaim.org/ to help me see where I need to edit my text or pictures to be usable by folks with vision issues. WebAIM provides a free "checker" at http://wave.webaim.org/ which scans a site for possible road blocks and provides information about them. Going forward, I'll use it to scan my new blogs and repair them. As time allows, I will also check my earlier posts for obstructive errors.

First prayer learned “by heart”?

What was the first prayer you learned “by heart”?

For me, as far as I can remember now, it was “Jesus, Tender Shepherd,” a bedtime prayer. My mother taught it to me,  telling me it was the prayer she said when she was growing up.

A flock of sheep in Wales

“Jesus, tender shepherd, hear me,

bless thy little lamb tonight

through the darkness be Thou near me.

keep me safe ‘til morning light.”

    -- written by Mary Lundie Duncan, the year before she died (1814-1840)

from http://www.hymntime.com/tch/htm/j/t/e/jtenders.htm

Michael the Archangelic, curled up to rest next to toy panda.

I assumed that this prayer my mother learned so long ago, which had been written even longer ago, would have pretty much disappeared by now, but I Googled it anyway. To my surprise, it still seems to be in use both as a song and as a bedtime prayer. For instance, it is played and sung simply in this YouTube video featuring pictures of sheep of different breeds, ages, and states of shearing.: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxWCmozYrAQ

And in this “Jesus Tender Shepherd Hear Me” YouTube video, “Emily Button Russell shares a story of her son's favorite prayer.” About 88 when this was taped, Emily tells the story about her son learning the prayer and her response to his wanting to change one of the words, then sings it herself. I ended up checking out some other videos of her stories, just because I thought she was a fun, spunky woman. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brypwtDT5Bs

Do you remember the first prayers you learned or who taught you? How you felt about the prayer or the way you were taught?

One thing that I find interesting, as I remember learning "Tender Shepherd," is that even though we always knelt to pray in church, my mother taught me to say it lying in my bed. Perhaps she thought bedtime would be easier if she got me into bed before the prayer than persuading me I really did have to go to bed after I said it. I did say this prayer, in bed, nightly, at least until some time in high school.

A prayer as you turn homeward from GC 78

A prayer as you turn homeward from GC 78

God of salty lakes and seas, mountain streams and broad rivers,

God even of waters we have polluted;

God of volcanoes spewing lava and steam,

of downy new chicks pecking free from their shells,

of LGBTQ and S humans in all shades of skin,  

all types of hair, of nose, eye and shape,

with all sorts of histories;

God of every diocese and diocese-to-be in this church:

tend your children as they leave this convention,

sustain them in exhaustion and sorrow,

their relief and their joy.

God of our Baptism,

as they leave this moment of your space and time,

may your people be unencumbered, may they travel as lightly

as those Jesus sent out without baggage, without supplies,

simply intent on giving flesh to your love

in the joyous, unsettling power of your Spirit.

Prayer for the last few days of GC 2015

O Gracious Creator of things we cannot see, have not yet imagined,

so small we forget to consider them,

so large we may not think to look behind or beyond them,

and of us humans, amazingly beloved by you,

but who sometimes think we are at the center of the universe:

may we ask You, honestly,

do You still “need” the Episcopal Church to do your work,

or do You simply “need” people who walk in Jesus’ Way?

Will You show us what about us Episcopalians delights you, gives flesh to Your will?

And will You show us “the back of our heads:” our blind spots, what we haven’t noticed You calling us to live into, what we need to let go of in our journey?

God of our future, God of our history:

some of us remember our Anglican identity as including the gift of “both … and …,” a way of thought sometimes confusing to others, but reminding us that no single point-of-viewing could adequately comprehend your mystery, your holiness, your being;

and we remember being able to laugh at ourselves and enjoy our differences, at “low and lazy, high and crazy, broad and hazy,” laughing at our own “niches” and managing to seek You together;

help us to discern if there is still value in being a “bridge” church which holds together apparently conflicting views, in being a church of “Scripture, tradition, and reason,” and in what new ways you call us to be your people.

God of immeasurable power, who seeks out the lost, the wounded, the forgotten:

be with any of us who feel squeezed out by others in this family because we are different in some way;

be with any of us who are anxious about the odd, rambunctious mix we are;

and help us to discern your presence in each other and in the world in which you call us to bear your love.

God of chronos and kairos: in these last days of this Convention, 
help us to keep going from meeting to meeting, location to location, decision to decision;

to be patient, stay cool enough and warm enough;

and grant us enough focus, enough discernment, and enough of your wisdom to grasp your will as we shape this limb of your church.

Technical Note

I've realized that I need to put alt tags (so visitors with vision problems can hear a description of pictures) into the html by hand, so I'm trying to get the hang of doing it again. I'll wait to use any more pictures until I can code them as I go.

What happens when little icicles grow up

They turn into great big icicles -- think cool if you're in the heat wave area!